ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
