Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We left an ass print on the piano.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
