thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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