dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
