i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize