You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Randomize
