It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
