Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
