I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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