Redeem this text for a blowjob
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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