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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God, I missed his penis.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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