i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cut my penus on the lid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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