Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
