so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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