hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize