think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
