Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
