You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
