remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
