Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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