i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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