Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
