I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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