Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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