So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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