Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize