that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
