lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
