Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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