Kiss
Puke
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
