I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
