some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
im on a boat
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