well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
