I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
