I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
