So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
