I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize