I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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