I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
