You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
