My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I CAN MOONWALK!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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