the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
