Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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