i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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