I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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