real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
