I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
