It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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