I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
