he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
