I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize