i jhust puked up my retainher.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
