Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
