whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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