I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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