I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
