Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
