doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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