discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Mom said you looked used
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
