dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
