god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
