make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
