im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
