we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize