I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
