PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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